Baby Chua the First: Month Three (December 2014)

A little (big) scare this month as papa passed me the flu (I was misguided in thinking my immune system would be stronger rather than weaker when pregnant) and I had a few days of consistent high fever. 

One night we even drove to the emergency room at 4 in the morning! They thought I may have had dengue but tests came back negative. We were afraid it would affect you and scheduled a check up with the doctor. Our regular Dr, Prashant Nadkarni wasn't there so his colleague Dr. Natasha saw us, she said you would be fine.

We passed the 3-month mark and Dr. Prashant sent us to his sifu Prof. Raman to do a scan for high-risk markers and nuchal translucency. We'd always been amused by Dr. Prashant, his ease with our situation and his unwavering confidence (in himself, science, nature and us) that we would conceive, so to be sent to the one that taught him, wow. 

The wait for Professor Raman was probably longest I have waited for any doctor, but it was worth it, chatty, affable, confident, knowledgeable; and it turns out he groomed half the celebrated ObGyns in the country. We wanted to consider him as our OB but he only does high risk cases, he says it keeps him young ;) He said you looked good.

Baby Chua in 4D, lookit the tiny arms and legs!

On the morning sickness front, still felt pretty normal, though I developed a whole lot of sensitive boob.

The one issue that would persist throughout pregnancy? I went from someone who knew exactly what I was going to eat each meal, or wanted or craved; to someone who had NO clue, no cravings or inklings…leaving us in quite the predicament as I had always planned our meals. Sometimes I would be so disengaged that I would get too hungry and end up eating the first thing available. That and having to pee a thousand times a day.

Another big thing was that we decided early in the month that I would stop working full-time end January, leaving me with more flexibility to exercise and eat better, watching my back. I started to do prenatal yoga on YouTube twice weekly.

The Rozells Christmas tree, and your cousin Sebbie

We spent Christmas per usual in Penang, (taking our first flight after finding out about the pregnancy) where we also attended Fion and Alexis' wedding, then New Year’s Eve at home with the Rambits, aunt Maybel and grand-aunty June.

EeEee Cheryl and I on the day of Fion's wedding

NYE with the Rambits, aunty Maybel and grand aunty June (papa's side but aunty Maybel is also one of my close friends)

Now we had past the first trimester, and I was about to stop working, it was time to kick some contractor arse and also plan the babymoon.

BabyChua the First: Months One & Two (October November 2014)

Dear Babychua,

And so, you begin slowly and surely on October 4^th. After that first home pregnancy test and the following blood test at the fertility centre – which confirmed your existence, I did multiple home pregnancy tests. Whenever I needed reassurance I peed on a stick, your dad was quite amused by this. 

Peeing on sticks helped reassure me

We proceeded into the first trimester with great care, moving into our new home at the start of November – your Ama came to help papa with this and I went away on a work trip (the Chinese pantang moving house while pregnant). I arrived to Sri Murni in time for the first night. 

The next morning we woke up to 1.5 partially flooded rooms, the problems that ensued from this and other little things our irresponsible contractor did would last right up till May 2015 (mold, changing 80% of our wooden floorboards, moving furniture to accommodate all these changes and getting new built-ins etc). 

Waking up to water damage after night 1 in new home

I also took you for your first concert :D Mariah Carey. Papa was not happy.

Uncle Sean, one of mama's best friends

Mariah Carey in the rain, unfortunately her current sounds are not my bag, prefer Mariah of old

Towards the end of the November I developed sciatica, which was scary considering my history with slipped disc and how I would progress through the pregnancy. My doctor asked me to try and exercise more, but it wasn't really possible to do that regularly with my work schedule and commute. She planted a seed though.

Of the pregnancy itself, I was feeling pretty normal, a few days of being off seafood or meat, some bad skin, one or two barfing incidents. If there was exhaustion, I don't remember - maybe I worked through it. 

The last big work do in November- the Christmas Tree Lighting and Murder Mystery

At this point, your existence is still pretty unbelievable to me, but this is you:

First scan, a mere speck.

Second scan, a bigger speck.

The Beginning of BabyChua the First

Dear BabyChua,

Tomorrow we start to count down 10 days to your arrival, I thought I’d tell you how you came to be, biologically and scientifically.

Mama and papa got married on 20^th May 2012 – we had dated for two years, been engaged for one. Papa pursued me for quite sometime from 2009 to early 2010, despite my being adamant that I wanted to remain single and just friends. 

He was 38 and I was 29; he had gone through his periods of 'wildness' the partying drinker, the biker etc, and gotten certain things out of his system; while even though I had had my fair share of life experiences, I felt I was barely beginning.

In the end, he was right and I saw the light. 

We were and still are very happily married, enjoying our time as a couple with each other very much yet independently developing our own interests. We are friends and lovers and it often floors me that I could constantly love him more.

The time that followed our wedding was hectic for us both, we were always travelling for work, and neither life in KL, nor our work environments were stress-free. The only thing that caused some shadow was the fact that even after a year or so of trying,  we did not conceive. 

In early 2014, we started to do check ups on fertility. While results for both not great; I had a low ovarian reserve for my age (31), meaning less years of fertility left, and papa's results were not ideal as well. The doctors still said there was a reasonable possibility we could naturally conceive, nevertheless, the stress of trying to conceive and of urban living was getting to us. We begin to really commit to the idea of you, eating better, living healthier. 

In April 2014 our doctor suggested IVF and after attending some talks and research, we decided to go for it. To prepare, we went for acupuncture twice a week, I slowed down at work and stopped travelling so much. We also tried Traditional Chinese Medicine but after awhile, I couldn't stomach the taste.

Acupuncture - first thing in the morning, twice a week. We (I) did this for 8 months. Not fun.

In July 2014, we begin the hormone jabs – which your papa would administer on me twice daily. People ask how these jabs affected me, but to tell you the truth, the pain and effects were nothing considering the light at the end of the tunnel (you!), and my suffering, if any, was eclipsed by the look of pain on your dad’s face each time he had to do the injections on me.

Our approach to IVF was quite matter-of-fact. We acknowledged our shortcomings and lifestyles and weighed our options, age etc. We knew that it would be an emotional, challenging journey but I guess in the end its the emotional support and joint goal that helped us through. Support and a positive frame of mind is of utmost importance, we went in with our eyes open to all possibilities.

In early August, our doctor harvested some 8-9 eggs, which they then fertilized. Out of all, only 2 embryos were a high enough grade to develop further. He also checked my hormone levels and suggested that we freeze the embryos and took a break before transferring the embryos into my uterus, to allow my hormones to regulate and return to normal after so much stimulation.

We took a break. I exercised, relaxed. Did a week’s detox. September was a busy month- we were in Bali, China, Singapore, JB for weddings (Ross & Diwa, Aunty Maybelene & Uncle Jack).

with Uncle Jack, Aunty Maybelene (the youngest of the Chua siblings) and Uncle Will at their wedding in Ping Yi

Finally, on October 4 after nearly two months break, we did the embryo transfer. On the morning of the transfer, your Uncle Will came with me for acupuncture, where he and papa squeezed into the little area and meditated with me. I think the woman in the next bed was a bit scared...

Your uncle Will - papa's younger brother (and one of his closest friends), he taught me how to meditate the day of the embryo transfer

The next few days after the transfer, (a relatively quick, painless procedure) I rested more, only doing some light walking and 4-5 days later went back to work and gentle exercise.

We were to do the pregnancy test on October 16^th and I remember the week leading up to it as hellish. I was moody and bloated – everything that preceded my normal menses. I had dinner on the night of the 15^th with Ruth Wilson a British movie star, for work, but could hardly concentrate. I was certain that my period was coming and we had not been successful. That night at home, I barely spoke to papa, going straight to sleep because I couldn't bear to tell him what I was feeling.

The next morning, just before dawn broke, I sprung out of bed and did the test. I took it to papa in the darkness and he turned on the light.

POSITIVE.

Fav movie quote from Robin Williams

"But only in their dreams can men be truly free. T'was always thus and always thus will be." - Keating (Robin Williams).

One sunday in lake gardens

Not sumo...it ADCrowing