The Beginning of BabyChua the First

Dear BabyChua,

Tomorrow we start to count down 10 days to your arrival, I thought I’d tell you how you came to be, biologically and scientifically.

Mama and papa got married on 20^th May 2012 – we had dated for two years, been engaged for one. Papa pursued me for quite sometime from 2009 to early 2010, despite my being adamant that I wanted to remain single and just friends. 

He was 38 and I was 29; he had gone through his periods of 'wildness' the partying drinker, the biker etc, and gotten certain things out of his system; while even though I had had my fair share of life experiences, I felt I was barely beginning.

In the end, he was right and I saw the light. 

We were and still are very happily married, enjoying our time as a couple with each other very much yet independently developing our own interests. We are friends and lovers and it often floors me that I could constantly love him more.

The time that followed our wedding was hectic for us both, we were always travelling for work, and neither life in KL, nor our work environments were stress-free. The only thing that caused some shadow was the fact that even after a year or so of trying,  we did not conceive. 

In early 2014, we started to do check ups on fertility. While results for both not great; I had a low ovarian reserve for my age (31), meaning less years of fertility left, and papa's results were not ideal as well. The doctors still said there was a reasonable possibility we could naturally conceive, nevertheless, the stress of trying to conceive and of urban living was getting to us. We begin to really commit to the idea of you, eating better, living healthier. 

In April 2014 our doctor suggested IVF and after attending some talks and research, we decided to go for it. To prepare, we went for acupuncture twice a week, I slowed down at work and stopped travelling so much. We also tried Traditional Chinese Medicine but after awhile, I couldn't stomach the taste.

Acupuncture - first thing in the morning, twice a week. We (I) did this for 8 months. Not fun.

In July 2014, we begin the hormone jabs – which your papa would administer on me twice daily. People ask how these jabs affected me, but to tell you the truth, the pain and effects were nothing considering the light at the end of the tunnel (you!), and my suffering, if any, was eclipsed by the look of pain on your dad’s face each time he had to do the injections on me.

Our approach to IVF was quite matter-of-fact. We acknowledged our shortcomings and lifestyles and weighed our options, age etc. We knew that it would be an emotional, challenging journey but I guess in the end its the emotional support and joint goal that helped us through. Support and a positive frame of mind is of utmost importance, we went in with our eyes open to all possibilities.

In early August, our doctor harvested some 8-9 eggs, which they then fertilized. Out of all, only 2 embryos were a high enough grade to develop further. He also checked my hormone levels and suggested that we freeze the embryos and took a break before transferring the embryos into my uterus, to allow my hormones to regulate and return to normal after so much stimulation.

We took a break. I exercised, relaxed. Did a week’s detox. September was a busy month- we were in Bali, China, Singapore, JB for weddings (Ross & Diwa, Aunty Maybelene & Uncle Jack).

with Uncle Jack, Aunty Maybelene (the youngest of the Chua siblings) and Uncle Will at their wedding in Ping Yi

Finally, on October 4 after nearly two months break, we did the embryo transfer. On the morning of the transfer, your Uncle Will came with me for acupuncture, where he and papa squeezed into the little area and meditated with me. I think the woman in the next bed was a bit scared...

Your uncle Will - papa's younger brother (and one of his closest friends), he taught me how to meditate the day of the embryo transfer

The next few days after the transfer, (a relatively quick, painless procedure) I rested more, only doing some light walking and 4-5 days later went back to work and gentle exercise.

We were to do the pregnancy test on October 16^th and I remember the week leading up to it as hellish. I was moody and bloated – everything that preceded my normal menses. I had dinner on the night of the 15^th with Ruth Wilson a British movie star, for work, but could hardly concentrate. I was certain that my period was coming and we had not been successful. That night at home, I barely spoke to papa, going straight to sleep because I couldn't bear to tell him what I was feeling.

The next morning, just before dawn broke, I sprung out of bed and did the test. I took it to papa in the darkness and he turned on the light.

POSITIVE.